Instead of trying to wishfully cold-start the engine with escalating physical touch, the master primes the motor by walking her to the climax with his words before he’s even laid a hand on her shoulder.
This skill is what separates the black belt lover from the fumbling grasshopper. She wants to have sex more frequently, but it just doesn’t cross her mind all that often. If you do, those juices will start to flow and she’ll be way more receptive to getting intimate.įor example, you might have a female partner with a relatively high sex drive, but she only seems to get revved up when she’s “in the mood”, and you’re always left guessing as to when that is. You need to captivate her attention and replace whatever else is happening in her head with a stronger, sexier signal. Guys are more singular in their focus, whereas women can hold many things in their mind at once when it comes to sexual arousal. This is partially because men and women are wired differently. It can take a little more time to get a woman’s water boiling, so to speak, whereas a guy’s can go from Lake Placid to full-on tsunami in a matter of seconds. Meanwhile, guys are dominating porn usage because their arousal has more directly visual triggers. This is why erotic books like 50 Shades of Gray are infamous smash hits among female readers. Women, in particular, are often aroused through the imagination. This is especially crucial if your partner is a woman. I’ll get into specific phrases you can use momentarily, but first, some guidelines to help you get your black belt from the dirty talk dojo.īefore Sex, Say What You Want – During Sex, Say What You LikeĪ good rule of thumb with dirty talk is to tell your partner what you want to do to them/with them before you’re actually doing it, and then, while you’re doing it, specifically describe what it is you like about it. I prefer to call it “erotic talk”, but that’s a subject for another day.)
Alas, this is what people call it, so I have to meet society where it’s currently at. (For the record, I don’t believe in the phrase “dirty talk” since there is nothing dirty about sex, or talking about sex.
I’ll walk you through the things to generally avoid, include, and steer clear of altogether, in order for you to dominate the world of dirty talk. This is the ultimate guide to dirty talk. Let’s clear the air and lay some ground rules. Maybe something that you qualify as ‘dirty talk’ is something the other person might find offensive, silly, or straight up insane, and vice versa. Just like sex itself, dirty talk is something that needs to be calibrated to whoever is receiving it. It activates the imagination, supercharges sexual polarity, and adds a steamy air of liberation to your naked shenanigans. “What should I say? What do they want me to say? Could I go too far? What if I can’t go far enough, or just sound lame, or stupid?”ĭirty talk is an often overlooked but very powerful aspect of eroticism. In the bedroom, when someone says “Talk dirty to me baby…” the hopefully-soon-to-be dirty talker suddenly freezes up like a soaking wet roll of toilet paper thrown out of an igloo in Antartica. Most people feel completely embarrassed and ridiculous at the thought of trying it, because they’ve never been taught the basic guidelines. Dirty talk can feel like walking through a minefield.